"A Problem to Solve or A Part of Life "-

Reading The Week magazine today (issue 1270, Jan.23rd, even though today is February 1st, I ran across this phrase in an article about Amy Pohler's podcast A Good Hang, which won a Golden Globe. I have not listened to this podcast, nor, any podcast for that matter. No reason why, just haven't added it to my daily routines. The observation was made in regard to the occasional emergence of observations about menopause. Speaking from the cliff top of age 80, I can see Menopause dimly in the mist from the spray of the waves hitting the rocks at the bottom of the cliff, on the beach far below.

What I remember from that time is the HEAT which came from a small generator just below my throat, roughly above my sternum. It radiated and the red spread on my skin up to my face and it felt like I had generated a 85 degree humid summer day in my own body. Along with it came irritability, impatience, and restlessness. I did often go out into the yard as I have read other women have done, to cool off in the refreshing winter air. I had menopause for 10 years from about age 42 when my orderly body began to count down periods at one month intervals, to 52 when they were ceased entirely. That decade happened to coincide with the most stressful and occupied decade of my life. I worked two demanding jobs and raised my daughter, bought a house, and had no car.

What I did was I endured it, got to know it, and lived with it. At the time there was a pharmaceutical push to get all of us menopausal women onto "medication" Horonal replacements. I have always had a suspicious nature and in particular with the pharmaceutical empire which is, to me, a cousin to the military empire, hungry and crafty predators who do serve a purpose in the environment but must be watched with wariness.

Aside from menopause, however, I think that phrase from the review of Amy Pohler's podcast, has larger and wider implications. So many things in life are part of the process and not necessarily problems to be solved. We all know that from the times when we are just venting about some issue to friends and they dump a basket of onions of options on us - how to solve the problems. Most of the solutions are things we have already thought of and tried, and many are completely beside the point. I have so so many friends who have sought medical solutions to problems I have personally felt were things that could be solved privately with lifestyle changes, attitude adjustments, or which could be just endured.

A [erfect example is the many friends I have who immediately seek antibiotics for the common cold. And one kind makes them sicker and they demand another kind. I have freinds who are encyclopedic in their knowledge of antibiotics and they go from one to another when my opinion (which I now keep to myself because I realize the emotional dependence is beyond my scope) is best endured with soup and tea and rest and usually gone in a week. My antibiotic addicted friends can spend 3 weeks in their fruitless circuit wile damaging their gut biomes and depleting their bodies attempts to heal them.

Same for insomnia. I have friends with 30 year Ambien habits when they know long term use has been linked to cognitive decline. But they will not give up the habits of tv watching in bed, laptop scrolling (blue screens) in bed, and drinking copious quantities of caffeinated beverages during the day. I don't say anything about any of this anymore.

I have divested myself of zealotry regarding my opinions on people's choices. Now I just think they have a right to both live and die as they choose. Same for me.

So many things in life, though, I think are to be endured rather than solved, especially in the realm of emotional pain. People turn to so many emolients for relief from emotional pain, alcohol, marijuana, (my favorite is food treats like ice cream and cookies) when the easier, simpler, less expensive and inevitably most successful strategy is to endure it. Some good helpers, I find, for enduring these admittedly deeply painful emotional situations include observing what I am experiencing and writing it out. This is an age old, trusted way of coping, and to some extent, the wellspring of literature and poetry, and maybe art.

I often think of Marcel Prousts Remembrance of things Past and how he resolved his confinement and debilitating illness by this poetic and enlightening trip in his mind and memory. I never got through the whole 6 volumes, and in fact, gave them away to the Free Books Project now that I know I will no longer be able to read anything like that due to my vision impairment, but I read and listened to enough to get this function of this particulary work of art. In fact it is a profound bit of knowledge to ponder, that a man debilitated and confined to his bed and room broke free and created a lasting literary monument.

Another short article that I read that touches on this idea was about a woman who was severly sickened by genetically inherited sickle cell to the extent that her hands and legs were amputated. But she realized she still had her sense of taste which was awakened by the gift of a b rown butter cornbread, so that when she was released from rehab with her prosthetic hands and legs and wheelchair, she opened a culinary venture with the support of a devoted assistant. This is some profound level of endurance and maximizing of the miracle of a life.

This is a particularly good time to ponder endurance because we in New Jersey, are in the grip of our own little Ice Age! Temperatures trapped in the teens, snow frozen into concrete layers on every surface and little icebergs on every sidewalk, so that both driving and walking are impeded and dangerous. I have to use my crampons to walk from the house to the car, and then I am trapped in the car because I can't walk on ordinary floors in them becaue they become like ice skates on linoleum.

People my age are in terror of falling because so many of the skills that keep us upright are being slowly stolen from us - muscular strength, joint flexibility, mental/brain and muscle coordination. I know, it doesnt' happen to everyone, but it happens to most people. We are everywhere, shuffling, holding on to stuff, and, sadly, falling. But all the challenges of AGING itself fall into the category of things that must be endured and like Marcel Proust, we must find other avenues into beauty.

Happy Trails wrightj45@yahoo.com