My time with Ann Whitall' Diary 6/4/22

Today I sat in Ann Whitall's living room, while we were open for tours, and as I always do, I thought about Ann. For so many years now, I have spent time in Ann Whitall's house, in what was her space throughtout the major part of her life. She walked these boards, looked at that fireplace, sat at her desk and wrote her thoughts. And I think the feeling I am left with after familiarity wit Ann's diary, is her search. She was looking in every direction for answers to the big questions like what is the right thing to do? Who has the besst instruction on right being.

Like me she had her upbringing, in the church, as had I throughtout my childhood at Gloria Dei Old Swede's Church. We got that road map,, and all the stories along the way to help guide you towards right action. And you had the lessons of the big wide secular world, the lessons of war and social upheaval, and economic disasters that altered lives, and then all that trickled down and you had the live action lessons of how your people dealt with all that, the personal perspective. Ann gives me not only her upbringing and religious education in her diary but also her frailty and faltering and seeking after strength. When I feel behind the literal words of her diay, I find the innocent young girl who enters marriage and has NINE PREGNANCIES AND EIGHT LIVE BIRTHS - EIGHT BABIES TO NURSE AND DIAPER AND CARE FOR IN EVERY INSTANCE - THAT'S 16 TO THIRTY TWO YEARS WORTH OF PARENTING - NEVER ENDING.

WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER AT WHITALL HOUSE, MY THOUGHTS AND OFTEN OUR CONVERSATION TURNS IN THE DIRECTION OF QUAKERS AND WHAT THEY BELIEVE IN. TODAY AN INTERN ASKED ME HOW QUAKERS VIEW THE BIBLE. FORTUNATELY I HAD JUST READ AN ESSAY IN FRIENDS' JOURNAL ABOUT THAT AND HOW THEY VIEWED IT WAS (AND I PARAPHRASE) THE TESTIMONY OF SOME RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCES. TESTIMONY AND WITNESS ARE ALWAYS WORDS I HAVE HEARD IN reading or discussing the basics of the Society of Friends. The other interesting attitude is a stiffening and a wondering when people contemplate the Peace testimony. And that was always the hardest one for me. I don't want to swear to smething I am not sure of and I am not sure of Peace as a strategy fit for everyt situation. I wish it were.

This afternoon I was thinking of turn the other cheek. And it reminded me of something my father used to say, "A smart man never gets into a fight." That made sense to me, that ifyou were smart enough you could always come up with a non-violent olution. But he was a sailor in World War II, and I don't now how I woulld have been able to be a pacifist and have that faith at that time. I am not sure I do now, but there is a part of me that truly hopes I can find it in me now. My mother used to say, If all were known, all would be forgiven." One of the traits of the Friends that I like is that they always seem to be turning things over in their minds, not just spontaneiously reacting. I admire that quality and find it enviable and admirable, but hard for me to do. I am always geared up and hyped up for the spontaneeous, the fast reaction, like speed chess. There are lots of things I want to learn from the Friends I am a seeker.