How I lost my happiness one week and got it back the next

Happy 4th of July 2024

Increasingly as I get older, happiness and health take top biing in my personal interests. I read a lot about both and I practice the things I learn. Happiness feels good. I like it. In order to keep it, you have to cultivate it, practice it. But even so, you can get tripped up in unexpected ways, just the way we older folks fall. Everything is going just fine and your shoe catches on an uneven board (because we shuffle more because our hip and knee joints and our backs have problems) and down we go.

Just a couple of days ago, in the house, I bent over to pick up a tissue and I tipped over like a pile of blocks. Fortunately, I was at home in the living room and beside the Decon's bench, which I used to push myself up again and although my knees hurt, nothing was damaged.

In the same way, a friend who will remain unnamed, tripped me up and knocked me off my happiness. For two years now, due to my ongoing efforts at practicing positive thinking, chair yoga, dog walking and socializing, I have been mostly happy most of the time. But one morning a couple of weeks ago, my phone dinged with the text message noise and because I almost never get early morning calls, I awoke and looked at it. I thought it was family.

All of my friends (a couple of whom are avid animal rights activists) know to keep their horror stories to themelves and not inflict them on me. I do all I can for animals. I house and care for 5 cats and a dog and contribute in a number of ways to animal rescue charies. Just this summer, I donated 7 paintings to a fundraiser. Anyway, this friend's text message was one of those horror stories and having just awakened, I had no protection. It tripped me into a suffering spiral and a big anger. This particular friend has a pattern that she keeps her phone off unless she wants to call someone and then she looks at messages and calls people back. When I finally reached her that evening and told her how I felt she became defensive as though there was something wrong with me to be upset. That poured fuel on the flames and I got really angry.

That was the beginning of my downfall. Next, I entered a couple of weeks of stress activities: I met with two groups that can be of great help to my Quaker Meeting. The first is a historical group that wants to use our Meeting House for lectures. I won't go into the details except to say that a long distance member of the Meeting is blocking the necessary response. Then my second meeting, I invited three from Meeting to join us for the discussion and tour and no one showed up. An artist friend who has his studio in the building in question had said the day before that he would be there and he not only didn't show up, he didn't call or text. I was then still operating (on the outside) in a good way, but inside I was all twisted up with anxiety and resentment.

My happiness was GONE. On top of that I made a big mistake, a bad choice is a better description. I wasn't sleeping well anymore so I bought a forbidden treat each morning to give me energy to get through the day, a Dunkin Donuts caramel latte' which gives me an energy high and temperorarily lifts my mood. These coffees got me through my meetings but left a residue of anxiety from the caffeine as well as contributed to trouble getting to sleep at night and sleeping well.

Finally we get to the cure! It came about in a kind of unexpected way. I was meeting a friend for lunch yesterday at the place we usually meet which I like, Maritsa's in Maple Shade (half way for both of us). But Maritsa's was closed as my friend discovered because she got there earlier than I did, so I suggested we meet at The Station in Merchantville because the summer group art show was going up and I had 3 paintings in it. She agreed. I love this place, it is my happy place, the art, the vegetarian cuisine, the almost always entirely polite nnd friendly staff and clientelle. We put in our orders, looked at the artwork, and sat down in the cafe' to await our food.

Two young mothers arived with three toddlers, two of whom were in the 2 year old range and possibly twins and those two set up a ceaceless and ear splitting shrieking that the mother was unable to resolve. Nothing she did stopped them from screaming at the top of their lungs and we couldn't talk and the high pitched ear-splitting noise made thinking impossible, so Nancy suggested we eat outside on the patio. I usually don't like eating outside - bugs - but we had no choice, so we went out and it was the best choice, It was cool and dry and breezy. Little sparrows twittered and flitted all around us and it was just gorgeous. Nancy and I chatted away amiably and elaxed for a couple of hours. Our food was good, and the outdoor setting was splendid. I felt happy again.

Then to cap it off, when I got in the car to go home and relized I was happy again, Arlo Guthrie was singing a train song on the radio "I am riding on the City of New Orleans" and that fit the train theme! Then his father, Woody Guthrie was singing "This Land is Your Land" and I sang along with Woody Guthrie and my happiness was complete! Last night I went to Chair Yoga and later at home, I slept well and no nightmares.

Today, all I have is a couple of regular chores, the kitty litter boxes, and other than that, I will float through the day and do whatever I please, beginning with this blog post - which by the way is one of the strategies for clearing out the clouds and supporting happiness! Writing, talking, friendship, the outdoors, dog walking, chair yoga, nutritious and delicious food - all these are the medicine to cure a passing illness of melancholy and bring back the health of happiness. Also I just called my sister and brother on the phone to say hello and wish them a happy 4th of July holiday.

Happy Fourth of July! JO Ann wrightj45@yahoo.com