Get Happy

Today, March 26th in my e-mail follow-up newsletters on the Happiness Project, the authors remind us that happiness, defined more as contentment, is a SKILL, something you practice and acquire more ability in achieving over time. That is something I have believed in for decades and why I have read so many books and incorporated so many recommended habits on happiness. I would like to add here that misery is also an acquired skill, and so is negativity and the more you practice that the more you ive it.

Each of the experts today shared some of their regular practices: eat something, get out of the house, call someone, exercise. I do all of the above. Also, I make it a habit to keep connections with friends and relatives, in particular cousins.

Some other tips were: Think about 6 months from now and whether the immediate unpleasant situation will have an effect on your life in that span of time. One expert admitted distracting himself with a tv program. I do that too and in particular I like long range history, like earth history. I avoid animal and nature shows when I am distressed because they always seem to end with extinction and endangerment after getting you to empathise and enjoy the animals. I also look for lighthearted series on family and community, especially Scandinavian ones like Bonus Family.

Now that I have become somewhat disabled by my degenerative spine and arthritic knees and hips, I do less exercise (although I do try to walk the dog) and I will hope in the car, with my dog who LOVES a car ride, and go to a park. Going for a drive has always been a tried and true strategy for me and I have some roads that are guaranteed to lift my spirits with their beauty like 559, the back way to the seashore.

One common thread is to Shift Your Attention, get out of your own head. One researcher says she does something nice for somewone else and basks in the happiness it brings to them. I find that true and I have neighbors who do nice things for me and I am sure it makes them happy. I return the favor with, for exampe a basket of apples or tangerines. Siunce I am alone, when I buy a bag of fruit, I can't always use it up in time, so I put it in a colorful tissue in one of the many baskets I have and give it to a neighbor.

One of the comments on the piece was from a disgruntled reader who said these people were happy because they didn't have hard jobs or hard lives or live in difficult places, but I do not find that to be true. I have known people with hard jobs, hard lives and who were happy nonetheless. You can find the joy in the smallest places, the slimmest periods of time. It is an attitude and a skill.

Finally, I have to add a comment of my own, pets! My dog and my cats make me happy every day and contribute to my contentment by sitting on my lap and purring, speaking to me in their various and interesting voices, and looking at me with love and gratitutde. My dog is beautiful and her beauty and gentleness and affection are a daily joy.

I just realized I hadn't heard from my cousin Patty who lives outsie of Cape May in the Villas, so I gave her a call. She wasn't home so I left a message and now she knows her cousin of a lifetime of family experience was thinking of her.

Also, I am on my way to give th edog a quick short walk and then meet two friends for lunch in a local restaurant to which I have never been. They advertise homemade pasta and I am anticipating enjoying that.

Hope these tips give you something to think about. I take these reminders as a gift to me and use them to refresh and re-energize my practice.

Happy Traisl Jo Ann wrightj45@yahoo.com