Making friends and living longer

My morning e-mail today contained a CNN report on how socializing is an essential to a longer life. As is so often stated, we are social creatures and increasingly people live isolated lives - delivered meals, work at home, delivered groceries. This CNN article mentioned some ways to find and make new friends. I want to add that making and keeping friends not only lets you live longer, but better!

Let me start with my two newest friends and how I met them and how we developed our budding friendships: A couple of years ago, my brother's granddaughter moved from Philadelphia, Pa. to New Jersey. I had tried off and on to make a greater/warmer relationship with her father, my nephew, but he didn't take to it. Like some other male relatives of mine, he tends toward morose and is not particulary inviting or friendly, so I gave up. His daughter, however, is in education, so we share a career and she is friendly and was receptive to my efforts. We have developed a monthly lunch routine. Today we will be going to lunch at one of two local railroad stations repurposed as cafe's. Developing friendship: I took an active interest in her house hunting projects as well as in her career and I avoided topics where we might not agree - politics, for example. I like my great-niece and she is easy to spend time with. She is polite, pleasant and cheerful.

My newest friendship developed out of an Art Show at one of the repurposed train stations I just mentioned. I show work there regularly in their group shows. At one show, I saw prints by a South Jersey Art Group and inquired into contact information since printmaking was my major at Rutger's the State Univ. for my second bachelor's degree. I contacted the group, joined up and there I met an artist who specializes in Art Journaling, something I have always wanted to get into. We met for lunch and she brought two of her Journals and I was stunned by the beauty and complexity of her work. I bought supplies and got started on one of my own. I hope to meet her again and I will get in touch to try to work out another lunch date, to a place closer to where she lives as she is quite a distance from me.

The CNN article suggested making small talk at group events with people standing or sitting nearby. You have the shared event for a take-off point. We just had a holiday and if you attended a group event, it was a great way to meet new people, staning on the side of the road watching a parade, for example. Attending historic site events as well as celebrations is great for meeting new people! I belong to two historical societies and I get e-mail notifications of their events, that is helpful, as are libraries! I met one of my best friends at a hike with an Outdoor Club decades ago. She wrote a book and I bought a copy.

Because I keep this blog, recently, I heard from a relative I hadn't seen or spoken with in decades. He read one of my blog posts and shares an interest in local history. We have been e-mailing one another weekly ever since! I am also very diligent about birthdays and keeping in touch with old friends and relatives, such as my cousin Patty who lives in Cape May. It is far to drive but I try to get ther one a year.

I have a small group of old work friends who meet seasonally for lunch. Some are still teaching. One of the group of about 6 always takes the initiative to set up our next lunch date.

The neighbor who kindly walks my dog for me each day has a couple of groups of friends he meets for breakfast regularly. Many articles say it is harder for men to maintain friendship groups but my neighbor is a chanpion at it. He has a golfing group, a hgih school classmate group, and he is always present at the games of his granchildren.

Helping a neighbor is a great way to make a friend, as is walking the dog. Both of these have brought new friends into my life. A neighbor I passed frequently while I was walking my dog has become a good friend; we started walking together! And a neighbor with whom I had been discussing an adjoining backyard fence has become a good friend. I introduced them both to one another and the three of us meet for lunch about once a month.

I hope this gives you something to think about and an idea to try out - it reminds me of the girlscout rhyme "Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other is gold."

wrightj45@yahoo.com