Everything is Teaching Us

Monday, June 8, 2026

The title is from a book of Buddhist teachings that I used to keep standing on my bureau to remind myself that life is learning and that everything is teaching us all the time.

A few nights ago, some show I was watching; I can't remember which one it was or anything else from the plot except this one scene. A young man released fro rehab for alcoholism returns home to his father who is in the last stages of his alcoholism. The father dies and the young man goes to AA which he has resisted going to because they are "a bunch of whiners" but he is so deep in despair he can't think of anything else to cling to. In the group, at the end of the session, the leader asks if the newcomer has anything he would like to add.

"Yeah," the young man says angrily, "You're a bunch of fucked up whiners, I'm fucked up, the whole world is fucked up."

All the people in the group nod benighnly and reply, "yeah, you're right man; I hear you. I feel you." And I got it. They felt his despair and they felt how they all had been fucked up and the world they had lived in was fucked up, and they were all trying to just get on with life.

I was struck by the kindness and radical acceptance of tha response of the people in the group. And I thought a lot about group support. AA is still famous for being one therapy that does actually work, maybe not for everyone but for so many. And I think one reason it works is that we are ALL so reliant on groups, social beings that we are. And addicts and alcoholics become so dependent on their addiction groups that even after rehab, they have no one to turn to but their old dangerous habit groups. AA gives them a new group with a new struggle - not where to get the money to get the next fix or the next bottle, but where to get the character strength to face the next day without the drug.

I find our Quaker discussion group very helpful. The older you get the less group experience is available. People like me, who were teachers, interacted with other adults every single day, but, as a retired from work and retired from volunteer work 80 year old, I find days when I hardly see another person. I am lucky in that I have neighbors who interact with me frequently in a number of ways, my neighbor who walks the dog for me each morning, the one across the street who puts out my trash and recycle when he does his, two neighbors who text with me every day, and most important, my sister who calls every day and whom I drive to and from the bus on work days when she needs a ride, like today.

I thought how soft and accepting that group response was, like lake water accepting someone in for a swim.

That scene taught me something about radical acceptance, affirming someone's feelings.

Everything is Teaching us!

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