Humid and Stormy - ME TOO!

UMA Died Friday night 7.30.26 and was buried Saturday morning 8/1/26. Today I will pick up my sister and a grave statue to put on her grave from Platt's Farm. Her friends John, Mark and Sue got together to dig her grave. My sister will stay for 3 hours today after we place the grave statue to do a kitchen job (and to help me be distracted from the pain and suffering of the loss).

Our weather forcast for the week is humid and stormy and that is how I feel. Pain and Suffering: what it feels like to me - a burning ache like a bruise in my heart and suuden spills of hot tears and pain because - Uma and I did everything together so everything I do is a reminder that she is gone. I got up in the morning and I didn't need to let her out. John will not be stopping by to give her a walk and we won't chat. I drive to Dunkin to get my latte' and her leash remains on the handle on the porch, and when I get in the car, she isn't getting in the back seat and I am not opening the windows. Her food prepared for breakfast and lunch sit in the fridge - I will throw them out for the animals in the yard later today along with her dog treats.

All day and night there are these reminders and with every reminder there is a punch to my heart and a hot spill of tears I can't control and my throat closes and I can hardly swallow.

How long depends - for my mother it lasted hot and heavy for 4 years - overwhelming attacks of sudden catastrophic loss, sobbing cries would overcome me. Similar for Dad. For both now, a memory now and again, a piece of music, something brings it back in a squall and I cry and then it is over. For Booty, two weeks and then right on top, Uma's death. I looked at Booty's favorite lounging spots. The ghost of Booty and Uma lying on the flagstone of the porch together.

Big thought - do I get another dog? I am too old - I have been told so by my brother and sister, but on the other hand, I can do one good thing for dogs and save another dog from a cage in a shelter. And maybe save myself. I am telling myself to wait a month. Wait out August. Give it thought and let the healing help me decide if I can do this or not.

My sister has been my life raft - she has been brave and strong and deeply helpful throughout this ordeal - she has been unconditionally loving. That is something I must remember and appreciate and be grateful for.

On the Trail of the Lonesome Pine.....

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