Beginning in the 1970's, that terrifically fertile period in our contemporary history, I have been interested in Buddhism, meditation, and Zen Buddhism in particular.
Yesterday, I jotted down my influences beginning with Alan Watts famous book on Zen Buddhism in the late 1960's. Some people admire and crave excitement and mental stimulation. I crave and admire a coolness of mind, a peaceful and serene way of being.
The most influential adapter and promulgator of Zen Buddhism to the West in the 1970's was, of course, Baba Ram Dass who wrote the enormously creative, illustrated book BE HERE NOW, which is still on my bookshelf and into which I dip now and again.
Self possession: I suppose what drew me to Zen Buddhism was the hope of being able to calm myself and own my mind rather than being buffeted continually by storms of emotion, currents of fear, and paralyzing anxiety. When I say 'paralyzing' I am not exaggerating. As a child, I had great difficulties with school and paralyzing anxiety was the state in which I lived as soon a my mother sent me out the door to that industrial monstrosity that was the school as I saw it
My shyness and anxiety stayed with me into my 20's although as I grew and matured, I was able to overcome it. I felt it but it could no longer paralyze me. Then in my late teens and early 20's when I read Alan Watts and Baba Ram Dass, I began to hope there was a way out, a way to achieve peace, equanimity and cool confidence.
Other people I have known who have suffered anxiety or depression have mentioned terms like "perseveration" and "cyclic thinking" and have talked about getting caught on a circling set of disturbing thoughts that go around and around and never come to an end. I know that feeling mostly, these days, if I have a sleepless night. That's when the worries march into town and lay waste to my quiet village - money, my aging decline, the future, the world, politics, the suffering of creatures, any number of things can roll in like a newsreel on an old film screen and keep me from calming down enough to get to sleep.
That is when I do the 64 points of relaxation exercise from my many old-time years of yoga, starting with my toes and also, using "Ocean breath" and generally by the time I get from my toes and reach my head, I am relaxed and clear again and can sleep. It doesn't always work but it works often enough.
One of the worst times in my recent adult life was when my daughter dropped out of college and flew to California to break into the movies. She was only 18. I was almost out of my mind with fear and worry. I went to two family counselors, one good and one awful, then I found my guide out of the snake filled jungle that was my mind, Pema Chodrin. She is the Abbot of a monastery in Nova Scotia or New Brunswick, I think. Anyhow I bought all of her books, many of her audio books on cd and at night I put the cd's on and listened to them while I fell asleep, hoping that I would absorb the wisdom as I slept as well. Her books have such wonderful titles such as: In Times of Uncertainty, When Things Fall Apart, Smile at Fear, the Wisdom of No Escape, and my favorite No Time to Lose. I think I found Pema Chodrin from reading a Buddhist magazine called Tricycle, or it might have been Shamble. She spoke clearly and directly to me.
Another helpful and interesting guru was Jack Kornfeld who wrote After the Ecstacy, the Laundry. that deals somewhat with how to live a Buddhist and mindful life in ordinary circumstances as contrasted with living in a monastery.
In case you are wondering if there is any connection with New Jersey places, THERE IS!! We have our own Zen Buddhist community in Shamong, New Jersey, PINE WIND Zen Community, McKendiman Rd. There is a "My Meditation" at 9:30 a.m. on Thursday, April 4th. Thee were two others listed but they were so early in the morning, I couldn't imagine you, my reader wanting to go then.
Also, there have been local Buddhist meditation workshops such as the one at the Collingswood Community Center. I don't know if they are still being held there as I didn't attend but I believe it was $10 a workshop.
I do my own meditation at home and from time to time, what I call my re-up through reading. At present I am reading "Why Buddhism is True," by Robert Wright. It is very good and offers science based support for meditation as a way to relax the mind.
Whenever I get stuck in some undertow of sad thoughts or fears, I bring myself back with a firm admonish to BE HERE NOW! And I am right as rain again. Hope you find this helpful! And if you are interested, I suggest beginning with Pema Chodrin or even one of the magazines which you can purchase at Barnes and Noble in Cherry Hill at the old Racetrack circle which is now a shopping center with a Wegman's.
Peace! (speaking of peace, I think today the vote is being taken for legalizing marijuana - that should be an interesting social experiment for our state, maybe we can get back to farming!)
Jo Ann
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